Countless times I have heard, “I would never go through rush again,” yet here I am, going through it a second time. I like to think since I have gone through this before, I am so much wiser than the people going through if for their first time. However, I’m still getting caught up in the thought that this is everything. Which it isn’t, it is just a very emotional process where you make yourself vulnerable.

The thoughts of not getting invited back to my top houses ,or at least one, has me in an anxious mess. It was not until last night I had finally processed I’m doing this whole thing again. Last year, I was so confident. I was senior class president,had good grades, and anything else I thought a sorority could want. In retrospect, I can see how I was searching for my identity and security by joining a sorority.

I went through rush with a light hearted and carefree spirit. I was  excited to be going through the process, and to have more friends in the end. I went to the most houses I could have on sisterhood night, and after, I was not worried for my preference schedule. When I saw my schedule the next day, my heart sank. I had only been asked back to one house, and it had been at the bottom of my ranking. I went to preference round, but, at the time, it wasn’t a fit for me. I felt that if I would have joined that house, it would have been for the sake of having greek letters to my name. Don’t get me wrong, that house has a ton of wonderful women in it, and I’m friends with a lot of them now. It just wasn’t my time to be in a sorority. I was devastated, but the funny thing is, life went on.

God works in mysterious and wonderful ways, doesn’t he?

If you would have asked me a month before recruitment freshman year what I would be doing I would have said,”Still dating my high school boyfriend and be in a sorority.” Little did I know I was about to get a nice shove out of my comfort zone by being single and Independent within the month. Which was kind of ironic, because this had been one of the  things I was looking for in a sorority. Honestly, praise the Lord everything is His planning and not my own. There are so many things I wouldn’t had done if I were to be greek freshman year. I enjoyed my short lived career on the club lacrosse team (I’m not one for sports, but I met some cool people and got a cool jacket) and joined Young Life (I have a post about how awesome YL is if you wanna hear about that).

“For I know the plans I have for you, declares the LORD, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.”

Jeremiah 29:11

The Lord still provided. Last year, I was surrounded (and still am) by so many wonderful friends. It wasn’t because I was in their house, not that is a bad reason to be friends with someone, but it was because they loved me for who I am. Life went on. I’m so thankful for every single one of them. I decided to re-rush because it is honestly something I have always wanted to do. All my friends are in a variety of houses, and it just made sense to me. I almost cry at the thought of when I can finally talk and hang out with them normally after I lose the PNM status, along with all the silly rules that come with it.

This is week has been scary, but the only thing that brings me peace is the fact that life goes on. The Lord has plans for me to prosper and I’m going to be where He wants me. Even if that means I will continue being Independent. That doesn’t mean it doesn’t suck or hurt to be dropped by houses. However, God is so good and there are bigger things in life than what sorority you were in, in college. As much as I want a good outcome for this week, I have to be faithful to the Lord, and wait for His plan to unfold.

“Commit to the Lord whatever you do, and he will establish your plans.”

Proverbs 16:3

My whole purpose for this is for anyone who went or is going through recruitment. My point isn’t that you have to be Independent or Greek to partake in certain things in college. My point it that God has a unique plan for you, even if you don’t understand it right away. I hope and pray that you don’t get caught up in losing your identity to your greek status, and, instead, focus on our true identity as a follower of Christ.